Just when we seem to get used to something, it is practically guaranteed to change at some point in time. I think if we're being honest with ourselves, we will admit that change can be scary.
In fact, I can go as far as saying i hate change. I like being comfortable. I like knowing what to expect and I like living in my little bubble thank you very much. So as you can imagine, I don't always handle change so great.
Right now, change is approaching my family. It's not here just yet, but it's coming. For the past 2 years since my daughter was born, I've contributed to my family's income by working. For the first year and a half, I worked part time in the evenings allowing me to stay home with her during the day (which worked out very well for awhile) but as a result, never got to spend much time with my husband. When the time came that we decided for me to pursue a day job, I remember being terrified. I would remind myself of the benefit I'd be gaining by having my family together in the evenings, and seeing my husband more than 1.5 hours a night. However, when I made the switch and began working a day job, suddenly I experienced an overwhelming desire like nothing I've ever felt, to be a stay at home mom. I guess it wasn't ever something I had considered seriously for financial reasons. When I started sharing these thoughts with my husband, we thought there was just no way it could work. As the weeks went on, and the feeling in my heart grew stronger, we started to talk about it again. Long story short, we came to the decision that we were going to make it work. Somehow.
I still can't sit here and say i know how it's going to work, because I don't. But within the next 3 or 4 weeks, I am going to be quitting my full time decent paying job, to become a stay at home mom. If there's ever been a time that I've experienced scary change, it's now.
Now, there are some things (and the purpose of this post) I have learned in the last 2 months leading up to this choice we are making.
1) This is not a surprise to God
2) He will not bring us this far to abandon us
3) He will provide
It's amazing how you discover faith you didn't even know you had when you face a trial. In our case, making the decision to live on one income has tested us in ways we hadn't been tested before. I find myself often thinking of all the "what ifs" and "how will this work out..." and most of the time I end up realizing that it's not up to me to decide those things. I believe I am listening to the Holy Spirit 's desire placed in my heart, and if that is so, then He will provide a way.
Just before beginning this post I read a blog about surrendering to Gods plan & one line I read said "God calls us to hard places to prove our inadequacy."How else would He be able to prove who He is if He did not allow us to fall? Another excerpt from that blog read
"The woman I am now understands the Almighty God, my Creator, my Dad, drove me to the edge of each cliff, then let me fall. He’s never left me there, and my bones were never broken from the impact"
Maybe if we keep our eyes focused on who our sustainer is and not the change that is ahead and sure to come, then we'll find that it isn't so scary after all.